Guidelines for What to Wear to a Funeral
General guidelines
Traditionally, mourners choose dark-colored attire when attending funeral services. As a rule-of-thumb, if you would feel comfortable wearing the outfit in a professional business meeting, a job interview, or a traditional religious service, it would be an appropriate choice for attending a viewing or funeral as well.
Splashes of color (e.g., a scarf, earrings, pocket square, tie) are not inappropriate, but it is good practice to avoid bright, flashy, or overly revealing fare. Modest, conservative choices are best.
Your goal is to demonstrate a reverent respect for the solemnity of the occasion. There are exceptions to this general rule, but by defaulting to this approach, you will rarely offend others or feel terribly out of place.
For Men
For men and teenage boys, consider a dark suit with a freshly ironed, button down shirt, a traditional tie (avoid whimsical prints), and dress shoes. Blues, blacks, and grays are all acceptable colors. If you do not own a suit, a nicely ironed pair of pants is usually just fine. Avoid fragrant colognes and aftershaves.
Women
Women often choose dark colored dresses, skirts, or pants when attending a funeral or viewing. When selecting accessories, avoid those that would draw attention to yourself (e.g., a rhinestone-studded, strapless sundress and orange spiked heels). Avoid strong perfumes.
Children
Select dresses, skirts, or pants in darker colors for young girls; pants and a shirt for young boys. Ensure that children’s clothing is comfortable, as they may be expected to remain still and respectful during the service.
Special requests by the family
In some cases, the general rules (above) will not apply. For example, some families may specifically request that attendees don attire honoring the deceased favorite sports team, or in the case of a child, perhaps a superhero or television character. The most important principle to keep in mind is to show respect to the family in your clothing choices.
Specific Roles in the Ceremony
Receiving line participant
If you will be part of the receiving line greeting fellow mourners and accepting their condolences, you may be standing for quite a long time. Consider this when selecting shoes. Some mourners may want to bring along a more comfortable pair of choices for this portion of the service.
Pall bearer
If you will be serving as a pall bearer, keep in mind that the weight of a casket can be very, very heavy. If you have back or knee problems, you may want to consider wearing a brace beneath your shirt or pants. If you are prone to sweating, keeping a change of dress or shirt in the car as a back-up.
Weather considerations
If you will be attending a burial or if the service itself will be held outdoors, be sure to dress accordingly. If there has been rain the night before the service, the grounds of the cemetery may be quite damp. Planning for a change of shoes, particularly for those who might be wearing heels, can be very helpful.
